Day 5

Today if have mostly been driving in Staffordshire – all of it. A much better day for us both with no major problems (well one for me) and no guidance from our instructor unless he saw us getting into danger or making mistakes that could be critical in the test.

A warmer but grey, windy day today. As I was first today. I made a big difference by sorting out the seat better for me and getting the air ventilation more comfortable. Significantly, no-one opened windows (as they have done in all weathers so far). Small things but they make a difference.

Dave showed us copies of the examiner's score sheet first-off and how they mark Minors and Serious (faults). You are allowed up to 16 minors but one Serious and you are in the bin. There is even a column for Dangerous (reserved for the Poles and Romanians but that is a whole chapter in itself too). By the way there are no left-liberal neo-Marxist truck drivers - none – take note Harriet Harperson.

So out of the yard I go to the A34 and this time south through Newcastle and down to the A500 at the southern end. I feel at one with this truck now and the fact that Dave isn't nagging and indeed is yapping on about everything and anything means he is relaxed.

Onto the A500 for a short stretch and then the A50 east towards Uttoxeter, then off at the Longton exit. This is all test-route stuff but the "Potteries" version of it as opposed to the Stafford-based routes. Lots of town-driving with roundabouts, traffic light junctions including a few "Park in a safe place" and hill-starts before heading on down the A5005/A520 to Stone (again!). There is a very tight junction at Rough Close near to Meir Heath that I have driven north-bound several times but not south. And it has outrageously tight bollards and kerbs on a mini-roundabout and I am still in car mode and letting the nasty white circles draw me into their trap. I have to ignore the bloody things and drive straight over them. I didn't and kerbed it badly. Bother!

And then on down "Death Valley" at Kibblestone. Got the speed and approach (sixth) for the Cliff Face on the hairpin just right and wanted to panic when I met a coach right on the worst part, but didn't. "Spot on, away you go" says Dave (meaning you're clear, accelerate). Praise indeed!

Then into Stone yet again without problems and to the infamous Walton roundabout (More people fail here on Observation than …..). A couple more laps of Stone and its variations then out to the Test Centre and Jackie's café for a brew. Got the tight right-hander and roundabout at Norton Bridge (fifth) OK (ish). "Look at your bloody line; you're over the double whites".

We get to our familiar café now (10:45) and Dave doesn't even say anything; he just expects us to turn the truck around and reverse it into a suitable place. What was all the fuss about?

Then with Andy in the seat we are off the Stafford again through Eccleshall but this time Dave gives me an examiner's sheet and asks me to mark Andy on missed mirror occasions. I want to be kind and I even don't spot some myself (so I get a gentle dig on my knee from Dave (meaning mark him down for that one). Both of us (Andy and I) have sore necks from this and still are being criticised for not-enough use! Before you signal, change speed (up or down), pass any hazard (especially pedestrians), oncoming trucks, change lanes, move off, open the cab doors, when you stop, before traffic lights….As both Andy and I say, just build on the paranoia and look in them when you do or don’t do anything. In other words always apart from looking where you are going, road sign routes and everything else.

I got Andy for about 6 in 30 minutes, all on not checking when slowing for a hazard. And I am sympathetic as I know I do the same. Once you see a line of traffic stopped or a parked car or van you have enough to worry about. But we must check them before we brake.

After another "Park in a safe place" I am back in the seat and get 7 mirror infringements in 30 minutes (marked by Andy). Again on braking for hazards but a couple on accelerating too. (I am so enjoying that engine-driver's turbo-whine and the power trip that I forget). So finally Dave says "Right, well I have made my point about mirrors: if you come back after an otherwise perfect drive and say you failed on mirrors then don't blame me!". Understood Dave.

I drive back to the café for a late lunch. Dave had asked if there was any particular junction we wanted to do and I volunteered one that I did on my first day last Friday of the A519. A very tight left-hand hairpin with confusing road markings. So we left the A34 for the A51 Nantwich road and I got round it (just about OK). Still tending to roll back a little on hill starts but I think I am being too gentle with it. "Never mind wear on the clutch. Get it to bite, hold it there and throw that air brake straight off."

Andy's in the seat after lunch and we head a different way through Eccleshall and back towards Stone then on down to Stafford, though this time we only touch the town before heading back out on the Sandon road and the Dog and Doublet again. This is long stretches of 40 or 50mph "A" road and the way the 'turns' had worked out he hadn't done this bit whereas I have several times. Lots of long down-hill "banks" where the truck will run away with you far too easily. I have the exhaust brake mastered now (great piece of kit) that takes so much the hassle of speed-control away.

Back up to Longton, Blurton Road and Trentham Road, down the A34 again to a lay-by and a change over again. Then I'm off around Stone for the (how many times now?) and another change to Andy who does it all again. There's very little comment from Dave at all and we are both feeling like drivers. And yes, I think we can both drive this thing to the required standard now though it only takes one mistake.

We often meet other HGV training companies on the same routes and Dave (knows them all) gives them a wave. But we reserve special greetings for our own brand. The vans are mostly owner-driver franchised outfits and the vans don't work out of our depot as it is a trunking hub. But we always get a cheery wave from any one of our trucks or vans.

Yesterday we met a one of our artics on test (and a lady driver). Dave knows her and her hubby well. Passed her C about 5 weeks ago. He told us today she failed on Observation (bloody roundabouts again – thought it was clear but caused another vehicle to change speed or direction). Dave's words ring in my ears: "If you are at all in doubt, don't go; we are either going or we're not. Dither and he'll do you for Undue Hesitation. Go and cause another vehicle to slow or alter course and he will do you for Observation." So no pressure their then!

We finally swap again and I get the home run, up the A34 and A500. Well you all know the route now so you can do it! And as the barrier goes up at the depot, Dave guides me to where I parked it last night, asks me to square up for a reverse, jumps out to be my "banksman" and I reverse the Volvo into a space with 12" on one side (tractor unit) and maybe 24" on the other. No problem.

"Right lads, tomorrow we are up to the Vale for some more reversing and a braking exercise then we are doing mock tests for the rest of the day. Then you are on Neil at 10:30am Monday; I will take you there in the truck and Andy, you will have to find your own way there (Test Centre) for 1:30pm and we will get Neil a lift back with someone".

How do I feel? Much, much better than last night and maybe I think I have a chance but know it only takes one fatal mistake. And if I do? What the hell – I'm going to do this so we shall book a retest and do it again.