I can tell you now though: with a load of hassle and stress. That's when you have 16 pallets of the buggers on at half-a-ton a pallet! My learning curve continues. Thankfully I have done a lot more driving since this fateful day and the good news is: it does get easier.
The call from the agency was straight forward enough: there was a Class 2 job the following day delivering eggs locally – about three or four drops. An 0530hrs start quite near to me though at a farm I didn't know.
Having said I'd do it I did wonder why you needed a Class 2 truck to deliver eggs. I had in mind a van and a few dozen eggs in a box nipping around the local corner shops. Ah well, no point in guessing.
It was still dark and raining heavily when I set out for the farm and had some trouble finding it at first. Then spotted a typical farm entrance with an "Eggs for Sale" sign on it and in I went.
The yard was a bustle of activity with four or five trucks, engines running and lights on as other drivers prepared to depart for the day. One character came over to me and asked me to follow him, so I grabbed my kit and duly did. Sitting under a canopy, lights on, engine running was a very large ERF EC11 three-axle 26 tonner.
I was already feeling anxious as you do in any new, unknown situation and the butterflies feeling increased when I saw the ERF badge for surely they have the dreaded Eaton Twin-Splitter 'box do they not? Well the C series that I had a trip as a passenger a while back certainly did. I had read about them and sort of understood but never experienced one.
My host (and boss) explained that he was driving too and in a hurry to get away.
"All the paperwork is in the cab and you'll find some tacho discs there too. There's 16 pallets on, the one at the back is you first drop – a farm I haven't been to but it's just off the A34 at Congleton. Six for a big food firm in Doncaster – you might get held up tipping there – and the rest for a farm in Melton Mowbray. Oh and they'll load you with a back load too. My mobile number is on the paperwork if you get stuck. Gotta go…"
I asked "Er – is there a fuel card – and what do I do with the truck and keys if I'm back late"?
"Oh, you won't need any fuel, it's full now. And you'll be back by lunchtime. See ya" and with that he'd gone.
I thought back to the briefing call from the agency. Doncaster? Melton Mowbray? Local drops?!! Back by lunch time?
I chucked my bag in the cab, did my walk-around checks, climbed in and filled out a tacho disc (that's a first as all my other jobs have been digi tachos) sorted out the seat, plugged in my satnav. Then time to familiarise myself with the controls - and to my horror I saw this:
By this time there was just me and the ERF in the yard as all the others had departed. I put the first drop in the satnav and looked at the route: Across the M6, A500 then up the A34 towards Congleton and it was indeed just off the main road about 30 minutes drive from here.
Time to worry about this gearbox. On closer inspection of the gear lever I was relieved to see it had a range change lever like the Volvo and DAFs I trained on with a splitter on the right too. So perhaps it wasn't the newbie-feared Twin-Splitter after all but the later Roadranger box.
Well here goes. It was now 0600hrs and getting lighter though under a dark sky but at least the rain had stopped.
I never knew how heavy eggs were. Wow this truck takes some moving so my first few bends and roundabouts out of the village were very cautious. I was pleased how the range change came back to me quickly enough as all my jobs to-date had been on straight-six 18 tonners. And as the day progressed (or got worse!) I needed and was glad of all 16 of them.
Across the M6 and on down the A500 to the A34 and at least we are getting the feel for the truck now. So far so good. The TomTom showed us getting close to our first drop and gave me a "Right turn ahead". Then I saw the dreaded sign:
Oh bother! Or words to that effect. I pulled in to the side and considered what to do. My road atlas (4 miles to the inch) didn't have enough detail but I could see the road the stanav wanted me to turn into and indeed this was the only way in from the A34. I could also see that there was a railway line and canal close together and running parallel to the main road. I have learnt very quickly that canals and railway lines equal bridges problems (either height or weight limits) so for sure this was my problem.
What now? No good phoning the boss as he said he hadn't been here before. Maybe I can get at it from the other side of the railway and canal?
Indeed there was another main road a couple of miles to the east but this would mean a big detour into Congleton and back towards Biddulph. Yep, that's what I'll do, so I put a couple of waypoints in for Congleton and Biddulph and off I went.
Bad decision of the day Number One!!
It was only just after 0630hrs so no-one around to ask and at least the town centre was traffic-free as I navigated around the lights and roundabouts and then off back south again on the A527. I found the turning I wanted and at first this didn't look too bad.
But then the lanes got narrower and steeper and I began to worry. The odd tree branch clattered on the roof of the body as I struggled with the splitter. But then finally we started to descend again. This is where I really felt the weight we were carrying as the truck would start to run away alarmingly on the steep hills. All the 18t trucks I have driven had exhaust brakes and I really needed one now. Though the ERF had a pedal where I expected to find it, it didn't do anything so I just relied on a low gear and hoped the brakes held.
Only a mile and a half to go and I was beginning to feel relieved when I met this:
Oh no! I'd found the same bridge but from the other side and worse still my only way ahead had a 7.5t restriction on it. Now what?
I was all but blocking the road so pulled in just short of the junction. Though still early the locals were starting to move and cars were crawling past the back end of the truck. There was no chance of a reverse to find a turning point for if anything the lanes gat narrower further back. And I didn't know what ahead and right held (spotting the "Except for Access" bit). I reckoned I could just turn around here, though it would be a 15-point rather than 3-point turn!
I mentioned guardian angels in my last instalment – and here he was again. Or rather the brotherhood (and sisterhood) of truck drivers. One of the cars pulled in ahead of me and a bloke with a well-known builder's merchant badge on his fleece got out and walked up to the cab window.
"You lost mate"? Somewhat of an understatement. "Who you looking for"? I gave him the name on the delivery note.
"Never heard of 'em. What's the address"? I told him. "Oh that will be John Rimmer's place – you're almost there. Just over the bridge up the bank over the canal and you're there",
"I can't cross that bridge with this – it's a 26 tonner" I said.
"Yeah, I drive one of these too (EC11)" pointing to his badge "I'm on my way to work now. You can't have that much weight on can you"? (Looking at the "Eggs" logo on the truck). "You bet I have" I said "I reckon I'm on my limit".
"Well go right here and take the next left over the railway. Bloody tight mind you but you'll just get round".
"But what about the 7.5 t restriction?" I asked.
"It's all 7.5t round here now so you've got no choice"
Whether it was my hesitation or the croak in my voice I don't know because he then said "Come on, I'll take you there. It's not out of my way". I could have kissed him.
And with that we were off, him with his hazard lights on and me behind him. All I needed now was the "Convoy Exceptional" sign as I had my own escort.
At the bridge he over-emphasised the line for me to take (that I would of done anyway but he had clocked I was new) and it was indeed tight.
It took a couple of shunts to get round and then we pulled up at a farm entrance. With that he pointed to the entrance and was about to drive off but I got out and shook his hand warmly and thanked him. What a nice man!
Into the drop and a tight yard and a struggle to get the first pallet off but we managed.
With that, the Doncaster drop went into the satnav and it routed me to Buxton, Chapel-le-Frith and the A625 over the Pennines.
Stuff that, I thought, I've had enough of hills and tight roads (I knew that route from my selling days – manageable but not after the morning I've had so far. So I went into Congleton for the second time, then out to M6 J18, M62 to the M18 and south to my drop.
So what went wrong?
Well I panicked when I saw the first weak bridge sign and didn't see all the information that was there. Apart from the 10t restriction, underneath it said "3/4 mile ahead" but as the red mist descended (the inability to think clearly in a crisis) I didn't take that in. Had I done so, and used the Browse Map function on the TomTom I would have seen that the drop was only ¼ mile down the first turning and well before our weak bridge.
That detour cost me over an hour on my schedule and took me over a local beauty spot called Mow Cop only to land me back on the opposite side of the bridge to the drop. When I told the boss that on our debrief he said "I'm surprised there were any bloody eggs left". You and me both mate!
So with that I set off for Doncaster but was now going to run out of hours before I got there so would need a 45 on the way and we pulled into Hartshead Moor at 0945. I felt exhausted already!
And finally to our second drop. There was an artic ahead of me so I pulled in and sorted out the route to my last drop of the day. Here we are waiting to tip.
I learnt later that this truck was a bit of a beast with a 430bhp Cummins under the cab. It had originally been an artic tractor unit and stretched specifically for this type of work. Apart from my bad start to the day (and bad middle of the day to follow) I really enjoyed driving the now-gone great name of British truck manufacturing. And having to use a range change and splitter for real was a great experience too.
The yard was tight and their style here is they wanted me to unload from the rear doors but not on a bay. So that meant pumping each pallet to the rear of the truck so that the FLT could get at each one.
It reminded me of those plastic puzzles you use to get as kids with sliding plastic squares in a frame with just one empty space. Trying to swing a ½ ton pallet through 180 degrees in the back of a truck is something else that you don't learn in your HGV driver training!
1215hrs and I'm tipped and away down the M18, A1 and A614 towards the A46 and Loughborough. Through Sherwood Forest and this is as driving should be. Two drops behind me, the open road ahead and wonderful views of the countryside. What could go wrong now?
Roadworks on the A46, that's what.
Mile after mile of temporary roadway and roundabouts. The TomTom showed that we were driving in fields most of the time and was of course totally confused as indeed was I. Then on one roundabout (temporary, new and in a field) there was one of those yellow signs that had every road on that you could think of but not the A46 South. Or at least I didn't see it if it did.
I took my best guess and before long we were back on the original route (or so I thought) and the TomTom seemed to know where we were. Then it gave me a "Take the next left turn". I wasn't expecting this as I had a note of the road numbers and I was looking for the A6006. Still, the turning looked major (and big enough) so I turned left.
Bad decision of the day Number Two!
The "major" turn got narrower and narrower. To a T-junction and gave me a left turn. Then this:
Oh dear, a dead-end on a posh housing estate is no place for a 26 tonner. And of course you can't do anything quietly with something this size with the hiss of air-assisted everything on every pedal movement or gear lever movement.
A couple of kids on bikes stopped to watch. Then fetched their mates. Residents stopped gardening or came out to see what the fuss was all about. Well, me trying to turn this monster around without wrecking their grass, kerbs or street furniture.
Then like some sort of bad dream I couldn't remember which lane I had come in from so ended up here:
By now the posse of kids were following me as I found somewhere to turn without leaving too deep a rut on the grass.
A concerned resident looked threatening so out I got an apologised. He asked me where I was looking for and I told him.
"Oh that's over there" he said pointing in the direction that I and the TomTom knew. It's just that there wasn't a road to get there. I explained that I wanted to get back on the A46 and he kindly gave me safe directions to do so.
"It's the roadworks on the A46. We've had a few of you lot up here before".
I finally escaped and following his directions, found the A46 South again and on to my drop.
By now the horror dawned on me that I was going to run out of hours at this rate. There was no way I could get back within my second 4.5 hours so I would have to take a 45 as soon as I could and I reckoned I had enough hours (just) to get back within my 10hours (hadn't used any this week).
I found the last drop, a very remote farm almost a mile across fields on a single-lane track from the entrance.
There was an artic ahead of me unloading, so I told them I was here and set the tacho to Break again.
Nine pallets off (all hand-pumped again) and seven back on (more bloody eggs!) Why I'm taking back what looks just the same as those that I brought down is beyond me. But I'm here to drive not to reason why so I will.
Back towards Nottngham (where it all started for me on my first trip), through the ring road and on to the M1 south and A500 once again. To add to my troubles, the battery had died in my Bluetooth headset and I had been ignoring the phone ringing as I came through Nottingham as had enough to do without being done for using a mobile while driving.
Uh oh! Missed Calls said it was the agency so I found a lay-by and called.
The client was very unhappy. Where the Hell was I? Why was it taking me so long? Was I dragging the job out for more pay? They needed the truck to load for the following day. Charming!
The stanav ETA said I'd be there for 1715 so I relayed that to the agency. They were fine and supportive and when I told them where I'd been and the problems I'd had they advised me how to handle the debrief with the client on my return.
I pulled into the yard exactly 12 hours after I had arrived that morning with 488 kms on the clock and spotted a very stoney faced "boss" who immediately did a walk around the truck looking for damage (I imagined). I got all my gear together, wrote up the tacho and my notebook and climbed out. He asked me to wait in the office (oh dear – a bollocking on the way I fear) while he reversed it to where he wanted it to load for the morning.
I have spent my life in customer-facing situations of one sort or another and often they have been unhappy customers (no, it's not me; it's how life is!!). As I explained my difficulties and as we chatted, he seemed to warm a little and was eventually sympathetic and even relieved that the job had been done. There was no damage to the vehicle or cargo and I even offered to take a hit on money if he thought I was swinging the lead. He didn't accept that offer (thankfully) and we parted on as best terms we could.
Somehow I don't think this client will be asking me again, but it was great experience and all part of my learning curve. And next time I get lost I WILL stop and think and not assume anything and blindly follow the satnav ever again. But even the agency later told me they had checked the route and run and reckon it couldn't have been done in much less time that I had done (allowing for my two major delays)
Mind how you go!
Neil
