Day 4

Today was my bad-hair day - hopefully.

As Dave said "It's almost universal: you get a lad (Ha!) who is progressing nicely and then it all goes to rat-shit for no good reason. So let's hope that this was yours today. Now let's go for some snap and a brew – and a brandy"!

Was it over-confidence, or the fact that Dave has stopped spoon-feeding us and we now have to make our own judgements and decisions? Or just a day I should have spent under the duvet.

Actually, when I reflect on it I drove miles and miles and negotiated lots of our worst junctions and hazards impeccably. But not all of them and that's the problem. Oh this is so hard at times; I will never take anyone driving a truck for granted again.

As I turned the headlights off on the L200 on the way into Stoke this morning through Cheshire, the sky was blue and bright sunshine though the temperature never got above 0c. Within half a mile of my exit off the A500 (Talke roundabout) I entered dense fog, that has stayed with us all day and the information panel on the Volvo showed a "Freezing" warning all day too.

Met Andy in the canteen and had a chat with him about how we both felt it was going. By 9:10am no sign of our instructor but then remembered we had lost a few of the orange side-lights on the crash-bars at the end of yesterday so he had been changing bulbs.

Off to the yard and the yellow-and-black board was down again, so we each did a couple of reverse-and-stop moves. Sorted – no problem!

Then Andy's first today (taken in turn), so off we head in the fog to Vale Park FC to practise the reversing again. In through Gate C though this time we are in a different (flatter) part of the car park. Out come the cones again but this time, it is a full replica of what we will have at the Swynnerton Test Centre. We each do this a couple of times, then pack up the kit.

Then off through Longton and the now-familiar A520 towards Stone through "Death Valley" and the awful hairpin by the "cliff-face" opposite Kibblestone Park (Scout or Cub camp apparently).

Andy takes us through every combination of Stone and its one-way system and then finally pulls up in "A safe place to park" and we change drivers. Maybe it was over-confidence or the fact that I was too relaxed after a successful bit of reversing early-on and a long spell on the bunk behind the action.

Within the first half mile I drove right into his planned elephant trap. The roundabout where we join the A34 south again and because it's big and wide I'm thinking fifth, but at the last minute recognised the BP garage on the junction and therefore the hugely-tight left-hander. Crunched into fourth (needs a range-change) and kerbed it. Oh bother!!

Brooding with myself, up to 50mph now on the A34. (Oh the railway engine-driver bit comes out with me now on the fast stretches when you floor the loud pedal on this. The turbo-whine kicks in and the feeling of so much raw BHP is a huge lift. Oh to have this 7-litre 250BHP diesel in my boat!!)

Then back to our much-feared roundabout and left into Stone again. "More people fail on Observation on this roundabout than any other. Nasty bugger. Very fast. Three-lanes coming in from the A34 in both directions. They’ve built a bloody bank on it with bushes to make it look pretty so you can't see f**k-all. Now WATCH it Neil. If you're not 110% sure don’t go".

It feels like an eternity ("Undue Hesitation") but finally we go. Round the one-way system again (no-problems) and back over the canal where I met the Argos artic yesterday and back to the BP garage and the tight left-hander. This time I claimed all of the truck's horrendous road-tax contribution and took a wide sweep at it in fourth. He even said "Perfect mate!" And believe me, that is praise from him!

Another lap of Stone then the nasty left at the lights "Mind the scaffolding – and the Mum with he pram – and the buzz" (bus).

And then on the long run to Stafford - cruise control on (and exhaust brake down the banks) that I always seem to get down the A51 to the Dog and Doublet (now known as Neil's pub because of the junction off the A51 next to it. When, not if I pass, I am going for a drink and a meal in that bloody place!!)

And then to the suburbs of Stafford once again. This place will be in my mind for the rest of my life. Dreadful right-handers managed with ease: (Off the power, slow, gentle, now get in your lane, now – over you go. Now wait. Wait! Look into the junction. Can we go?).

And once more through Stafford but his time I'm on my own. "Follow the signs for Telford". Me "Oh shit, you mean navigate and drive this bloody thing at the same time?"

First bad-hair moment: wrong line at the Cannock/Uttoxeter roundabout. Where the f**k am I?? No problem around Jail Square and the Station. Got the nasty left-hander "Fourth Neil, dead slow, right over to the bollards. Watch that Buzz!"

Then got onto the three-lane bit (40mph limit) and we know we have to show "progress" when safe to do so. Up comes the turbo-whine and the surge of power – and a Number 36 buzz too close to me. "Too f***ing fast mate, you nearly hit him". Oh, I can't win here!

Then out of Crab Lane (a new-route side road off a housing estate that joins a fast dual-carriageway). I pull out perfectly in third, clear the kerb, and completely revert to "Rep" driving as Dave calls it. I steer one-handed with my right-hand while indicating with my left and changing from third to fifth also with my left hand and as Dave said later, "Whilst also w***ing with your left hand and on your mobile phone and eating a sandwich with your right. Consider yourself totally bollocked". I did. Half a mile later, he says "Next left at this roundabout" so I got my speed, gears and position perfect, indicated left and drove straight on.

"Look Dave I'll go home now if you want".

"Not a chance. Keep going but don't do it again".

And with that we were out into the countryside again and the Raleigh Estate. Turned the Volvo off, locked the cab and into Jackie's for a brew and something to eat.

Then Andy's turn through Stafford – without instructor prompting. And he was better than me, all round. No pressure then! Though he did kerb it badly on the inward run, so nothing is certain yet. I think he did every variation then it was my turn again and I was determined not to screw-up this time. And I didn't.

"A lot bloody better" says Dave. Then back up the A51 with the cruise control on and past the Dog and Doublet (Neil's pub) and into Stone one-more time. A line of parked cars on our left (we give way), but no sign of any on-coming traffic, so out I go (hold you position) and I get past six or seven of them and by now there are a few coming the other way. I'm vaguely conscious of a gap in the parked cars on my left but also of the "Don't duck and weave-in-and-out; hold your position" statement so I do. But end up forcing them to give way.

"There was good gap on the left there. You should have gone into it and let them through." Known as a "Meet Approach" = Serious = Fail. Oh this is hard, so hard (most) of the time.

Then to the A34 and the Trentham roundabout. Very good entering, speed, position, gears, lanes perfect, but then there's no bloody lines painted and I don't know where I am and get another bollocking for "lane control". Bad hair-day but I will not be beaten. Drove the Volvo up the A500 to Talke, A34 south and into our yard. Knackered and tail down a bit.

If this was your usual commercial school, my test would be tomorrow and I would not be confident at all. As we are I have two more days and maybe an hour before my test on Monday.

Tomorrow is no prompts whatsoever from Dave (watch the news for truck accidents in Staffordshire) and mock tests on Friday. Oh joy.

Mind how you go and 'night all.

Neil.